November 1, 2025
“Kindliness” Pastor David Moore
1 Samuel 18:1-6 (NIV)
1 After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself. 2 From that day Saul kept David with him and did not let him return to his father’s house. 3 And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. 4 Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt.
5 Whatever Saul sent him to do, David did it so successfully that Saul gave him a high rank in the army. This pleased all the people, and Saul’s officers as well.
6 When the men were returning home after David had killed the Philistine, the women came out from all the towns of Israel to meet King Saul with singing and dancing, with joyful songs and with tambourines and lutes.
We have been looking at the signs that someone has a changed heart, not evidence of someone trying hard. We are going to look at kindness, one of Christianity’s defining characteristics. When someone does something mean to us, we are to respond with kindness and love.
“Remember there’s no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.” ~Scott Adams
I want to take kindness out of abstract and put it into an actual context for us all, the context of a relationship. I will be talking about kindness and how it is reflected in a friendship.
John 15:6-15 (NIV)
6 If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. 8 This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.
9 As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you. Now remain in my love. 10 If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father’s commands and remain in his love. 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.
There is nothing more humanizing or more life-changing than a friendship. I want to explore how kindness is experienced in a friendship and how to make a friendship and where the power for friendship comes from.
The disciples share a common life with Jesus. The disciples go from being a branch to a friendship (metaphor to reality).
Deuteronomy 13:6 “If your very own brother, or your son or daughter, or the wife you love, or your closest friend…” David and Jonathan’s friendship become one in spirit – David loved him as himself. Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved himself.
C.S. Lewis said it was like two people discovering that they thought the same way; that each person was relieved to discover that they weren’t the only one who took away the same thing.
I think friends are discovered. You discover the commonalities, the passion, the intent, the belief. A friend is sweet.
Having a friend, making friends takes work.
There are two disciples that will turn a potential friend into a real friend: vulnerable transparency and sacrificial loyalty.
Transparency in verse 15. “I have called you friends for everything that I learned from my Father, I have made known to you.” Loyalty is found in verse 13 “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friend.”
Friends let you know what is going on with the other person. They let you into their lives, and you let them into yours.
Psalm 25:14 The secret of the Lord is for those who fear him for the friendship of the Lord is with his people.
With friendship there is vulnerability and transparency.
Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.
Vulnerable transparency is hard, but necessary for overgrowth as people; as parents or siblings, as friends and besides vulnerability comes sacrificial loyalty.
If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a borrowed thing that is thrown away, branches need to stay with the vine, otherwise they are going to die.
Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at all times.
Proverbs 18:24 A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Friends always let you in (vulnerable transparency) and never let you down (sacrificial loyalty).
All other religions cannot conceive by God as a friend. The Bible hints that Yahweh is different. In James 2 we are told that Abraham was a friend of God.
Jesus said that greater love has no one that this; that he lays down his life for his friends.
Jesus is telling us about the love that will compel him to remain on the Cross as he dies. We have to see the Cross as the ultimate act of friendship. His loyalty to us, His love for us, Jesus was vulnerable because of His love for us.
The church is not made up of natural friends. It is made up of natural enemies. What binds us together is Jesus Christ, who has saved us all. We are natural enemies turned into friends who love one another because of Jesus sacrificial love for us.
Jesus breaks old bonds and makes new relationships in the Church.
Friendship is at the center of our relationship with God.
Look at the Cross and see that Jesus is your friend and because of that we are to do what friends do. We will sacrifice for Him, as friends, our time, our energy, we will obey whether or not we understand why we are asked, we will just obey. That’s how hearts will be shaped in our lives.
Jesus wants to be our friend, no matter what we have or have not done. Jesus will heal us if we let Him into our hearts. Trust Him, have a good week. God bless.